ONE MINUTE MELEE SEASON IV: Goemon X Chipp Zanuff
Description 2 Fighters! No Research! 60 Seconds! In a battle of Ninja, one forced into obscurity in the West, the other- A POLITICIAN?!?! WTF??? Anywho, who will prove to be better: Konami's Beat em' up Ninja, or GUILTY GEAR's Saber wielding politician? Sasuke Samurai already knows the answer, why not find out? Interlude 2 FIGHTERS! NO RESEARCH! 60 SECONDS! 1! MINUTE! MELEE!!! PRESS START! SELECT YOUR CHARACTER! (PLAYER ONE CHOOSES Goemon.) (PLAYER TWO CHOOSES Chipp Zanuff.) LET'S ROCK? Alrighty! / Uh, one sec... (Alrighty! selected.) Beginning As Goemon and the gang return home for the night, after yet another criminal sent to justice, they found A ninja in black reading a book they don't know called Journey to the West, all while wearing his signature glasses. This annoyed most of the group, but Yae, one of the females was lovestruck by the rogue ninja's calm demeanor, and easily wanted an autograph. The males, and all other females were annoyed by such a notion from someone as serious as Yae... Yae: OMIGOSH! You're so hot and stuff! Goemon, and the others are simpletons, and all... But you have the confi- Chipp Zanuff: Rejected. Yae: What? But why? Chipp: I don't go on dates with teens, and young girls; respect not to mention you just insulted your friends' faces right in front of them. Now if you don't mind... Chipp then beheaded 'Yae right at the neck. Goemon is now ticked. He wanted Chipp dead, and gone. Sasuke wanted to join, but Goemon knew this is personal... Sasuke: Fine then! Don't have any assistance! He's going to kill you anyway! (Cues (Pop'n Music) Vairocana - 五条式改 Starting from 0:28.) Chipp put his book down, dropped to the ground, and the two were ready for bloodshed. Chipp: Let's... DO IT! The Fight NO ESCAPE... FIGHT! 59.9-49.5: Chipp had his blade deflected by Goemon's Kiseru several times, but then used Beta Blade to send him sky high. Chipp then used his Dead Angle Attack to send Goemon further into the air, slashing, and carving him apart. He even dropped his Kiseru, and teleported into logs. Chipp no longer has the enemy on the run, but said enemy was just whacking the damned false ninja to bits. 48.4-39.1: But Chipp split faster than Goemon can attack. Chipp then overwhelmed Goemon with a barrage of combos. Goemon was forced into a stunned state as Chipp did another Dead Angle Attack, blasting Goemon to bits, breaking the wall door of the building open. 38.4-33-8: Goemon: Ow... Geez that hurt... 33.1-31.4: Chipp: Not as much as this blade, bitch! Eat my Overdrive! 30.1-29.6: THEN EAT MY IMPACT! 28.3-16.7: As Goemon summoned the Goemon Impact mech, it tried to crush Chipp, but was deflected as he used Zansei Rouga, slashing through Impact left, and right. Chipp then slashed through Impact vertically, cutting through the machine in two. Goemon, now desperate, used his many gold pieces. Somehow, he made it work. 15.9-8.4: Goemon then charged his pieces, and as he ran to finish Chipp, he transformed into leaves as he went into INSTANT KILL Mode. 8.1-6.2: Chipp: You remind me much of Johnny... ((Pop'n Music) Vairocana - 五条式改 Ends.) But it's over now! 5.3-0.1: Chipp created 5 shadow clones; one of which snagged Goemon to the center, created a pentagram of fire, The Symbol of Death landed on Goemon, and finally, the Mystical Ninja was immolated. K.O.! What's left of Goemon's friends simply fled as Chipp was about to ask an important question... Chipp: Oi! OI!!! Do any of you know how to get back to 2188??? Chipp immediately found out he was the criminal this time and had to escape fast before authorities find him. He decided to teleport to America where nobody found him to be a criminal. It is unknown if he ever came back... Results/Credits (Cues Guilty Gear XX Accent Core Plus R OST - Suck A Sage) THIS MELEE'S WINNER IS... CHIPP ZANUFF! Goemon is from Mystical Ninja, owned by KONAMI. Chipp Zanuff is from GUILTY GEAR, owned by arc system works. Vairocana is from Pop'n Music, owned by KONAMI. Suck a Sage is from GUILTY GEAR, owned by arc system works. 安息 Is from Full Metal Daemon Muramasa, owned by Nitro+. Epilogue (Cues Full Metal Daemon Muramasa Ost~安息) Wiz: The Winner is Hercule Satan! ???: (In awe of defeat.) (Pause.) ???: WHY THE FUCK CAN'T DAN WIN??? FUCK! DAMMIT! SHIT! If this dickwad wins one more time anywhere, OR Dan loses one more time, this joke is FUCKING OVER!!! (Sighs hard) let's hope what's to come might be any better... Boomstick: (singing) NEXT TIME ON DEATH BATTLE... ???: Hmmm... Perhaps Dan's Death won't be in vain... (??? Glimpses at Yang Xiao Long) ???: She probably might be fighting Captain Falcon perhaps! I'll have to test her. Kishima. Kishima Kouma: What is it? ???: Find the Yellow Gem with the power of a billion nuclear HYPERNOVAS at once. Kishima: Got it. ???: And Calibur... John Calibur: Yo! What's my duty, boss? ???: ... Assassinate Hercule Satan immediately. Dan needs his mark of redemption... John: You're the boss! (???: And as for that Birdbrain...) (Boop) ???: Okuu. Status report! Utsuho Reiuji: I found Hijiri, boss; though she seems to be running from me! ???: Eliminate her right away. Utsuho: Roger! ???: Now to hope for the best... Master Zonvolt. It seems we have to take action with whatever we have... Zonvolt: Do it. They are merely expendable anyway... To be continued... Category:What-If? One Minute Melees Category:Ninjas Category:Magic X Ki related One Minute Melees Category:East only themed One Minute Melees Category:Fighters with a Theme Category:'Video Games' themed One Minute Melees Category:Completed What-If? One Minute Melees Category:BMHKain